Kisa Family

Marriage

From engagement to ever after Islam-based secrets to building a solid, loving, tranquil relationship

وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُم مِّنْ أَنفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا لِّتَسْكُنُوا إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُم مَّوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً ۚ إِنَّ فِي ذَٰلِكَ لَآيَاتٍ لِّقَوْمٍ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ

And among His signs is that He has created mates for you from among your own selves (the human family), that you may take comfort in them, and He ordained affection and mercy between you. There are indeed signs in that for a people who reflect.” (30:21)

Resources

Resources for Marriage

Conflict Resolution

Please read the chapter on Conflict Resolution from an upcoming book on marriage and provide your valuable feedback

Volunteer for Kisa Family as a research associate!

Upcoming Research Project

Frequently Asked Questions

Kisa Family is conducting research in collaboration with scholars to answer frequently asked questions in our community. These questions come from you! So, send in any questions on which you need clarity!

Nikkah and Wedding
  • What are fair and important points to include in a prenuptual agreement? What should be excluded?
  • What are wedding night guidelines?
  • What are wedding night aamaal?
  • What nights should you not do you wedding night (Islamically)
  • What do the Ahlul Bayt teach us about the proper way to have a wedding?
  • Setting your mehr & marriage contract
  • Finance of wedding
  • What is the appropriate amount to spend on wedding preparations and events?
  • What is financial responsibility of each spouse/spouses family?
  • What information should be shared with the spouse about the other’s family?
  • How to make sure you have the same ethics and values?
  • New brides and dress codes
Newlyweds
  • For those who are newly married, how can we help them address
    conflict in strategic and positive ways rather than avoiding it ?
  • How can you foster resilience in your relationship from the beginning?
  • what are the main akhlaqi points that newlyweds should try to act upon and makes habits in their new relationship?
  • How much sacrifice is enough sacrifice? How much sacrifice is too much sacrifice?
  • How can in-laws support a new marriage in its infancy, the first two years?
  • What does it mean to put the marriage first?
  • Does marriage fundamentally change who you are? Should it?
  • What are grounding, fair expectations that are realistic for couples to have going into a marriage?
  • How to create a foundation?
  • Learning to express gratitude and love.
  • What will the first few years of marriage look like?
  • Western view vs Islamic view of intimacy and coupling.
  • Rights of husband and wife.
  • Learning to budget and planning financially.
  • Characteristic of a model husband.
  • Characteristic of a model wife.
  • Cultural expectations of a wife/daughter in law.
  • Honeymoon
  • Honeymoon destinations for muslim couples
  • Consummating marriage before valima?
  • What are valima guidelines?
  • Moving away from family
  • How to integrate with your new community (moving away)?
  • How to keep busy when you move to a new place?
  • How to avoid divorce?
Strengthening the Bond
  • What entails being a supportive spouse?
  • What are practical day to day actions couples can take to bring our relationship stronger?
  • How can I work on showing my affection and appreciation to my spouse without feeling forced?
  • Wooing your spouse.
  • What are date ideas?
  • How to let go and trust partner to make independent decisions?
  • How do you ensure a feeling of safety and security in a relationship?
  • How to make time for one another?
  • How long does it take for a couple to reach a nice equilibrium?
  • What are most halal date night tips/locations per region to encourage intimacy?
  • What are some key couples’ activities that can improve our connection?
  • What are the most efficient ways to discuss ways to improve relationships without getting into nitty gritty details?
  • How to prioritize partner’s wants without sacrificing my own if they contradict one another?
Personality/Character/Temperament
  • How do you know what personality would hinder the relationship or cause
    clashes? And how do you overcome it?
  • Where should the boundary line come towards irritation and stubbornness?
  • How can someone understand their spouse’s temperament and respect
    how their spouse operates?
  • How can we work toward understanding (and working with) the different ways in which people deal with their problems?
  • How can a couple strike a balance when spouses differ in their
    personalities?
  • To what degree should a person be prepared to improve themselves for the benefit of their relationship?
  • How can a spouse discourage their ego to thrive?
  • What character traits help build a strong relationship with your spouse? Conversely, what character traits destroy a relationship (explore traits like when a spouse is too controlling, lacks trust, constantly doubting, etc)
  • How do you deal with a spouse who is sensitive? Do you go into their history and find out if something happened to them to make them feel this way?
  • What can one do if their spouse is “overly emotional”?
  • Are you hesitant to initiate discussion regarding a problem with your spouse?
  • If you are aware that your spouse is hesitant to initiate discussion regarding an issue, what can you do?
  • How to not get emotionally triggered easily?